· However, after spending more and more time together, you find out the guy is still online dating while in a relationship with you. While you never discussed exclusivity, wouldn’t If you two have actually discussed and agreed to exclusive dating, him keeping his online dating profile up is a bad sign. Most apps will tell you how recently someone’s profile has been active. · 15 Reasons why he is still online dating if he likes you. 1. Ego boost: 2. You are not right for him: 3. He is not ready for anything serious: 4. He can’t settle for one woman: 5. · He might still be treating your relationship as a casual thing and assuming that you are too. If you want something more, you need to tell him how you feel. Even if he’s not on the · Scenario #1 You’ve been on multiple dates and it’s obvious you both like each other, but you’re not exclusive just yet. As you’re deleting old messages, you see she’s changed her ... read more
Laura Bilotta is an Author, Radio Host, Dating Coach, Matchmaker and Founder of successful dating website Single in the City dot ca. Laura established Single in the City in She currently hosts the Dating and Relationship Radio Talk Show Sunday nights at 9pm on AM and available on Apple Podcasts. She was also the host of the TV Talk Show "Single in the City" on the Rogers Network. Related Posts. Hello and welcome to Single in the City! We host unique events for fun, sexy single people.
If you would like to contact me regarding my matchmaking or date coaching services, email me at info singleinthecity. Follow Us On. Find us on Twitter. It just means he takes things slowly and deliberately. Some people take commitment very seriously.
Maybe months, maybe even a year. But that requires you to tell him that you know, and to specifically tell him you want a committed relationship and for the profile to come down. Hard to believe that a guy would forget to do something, right? Dudes are dudes. You hate feeling like a nag, but cliché as it seems, dudes can be forgetful about these kinds of things. There are plenty of men who have no intention of being monogamous.
There are men at any age who might be slower to commit. In fairness, men are often naturally slower to commit than women. Decide for yourself how long you are willing to wait for exclusivity. You might want that right away or you might be OK with waiting for six weeks.
Exclusivity needs to be discussed and agreed upon. When to bring up exclusivity depends on the woman and your age. Over 40, there is no reason to hesitate on discussing this aspect of dating. If a man over 40 runs when you ask about exclusivity, good! When he suggests sex, and he will, you can handle that in a couple of ways. How you go about this is extremely important. So, choose your words carefully. Here are three options to try. This keeps the chase alive.
If you try this, you have to be willing NOT to say another word until he speaks first. If he suggests you both take your online dating profile down at this point — great! If he is quiet for a long time or stumbles awkwardly, he is likely undecided. In this case, stay true to yourself and your desire for monogamy. You are clarifying an intimacy boundary for him. However, avoid saying this on the first few dates because clients have told me some men say yes to exclusivity so they can sleep with you.
But then disappear anyway. This conversation only works after four or five dates, so the man has already shown consistent interest in you. Whatever you do, do not ignore this. If you talk about monogamy and he continues to look online, be honest with yourself. The right man for you will not only accept exclusivity but will WANT you to be his one and only. Do NOT settle here or you are sure to end up broken-hearted.
Great article indeed! This sets me thinking as I am currently single and am interested in my close guy friend whom I thought was interested in me as well. He has just ended a relationship and is using a dating app and met someone new there too. Very confused now as I thought he likes spending time with me and sees me as a potential.
Am feeling really sad too as im not sure what should be the next step to take. Hi Cressilda, Think about this with logic instead of feelings. Yet, at the same time he starts dating online. Instead of healing from his broken relationship, he is looking for attention from more than one woman.
My dating advice is to pull back and protect your heart. He needs time to regain his balance and you need to avoid being hurt by him during this process. I hope your friendship can be picked up again soon, depending on how hurt you feel and how considerate or thoughtless he is.
He is divorced 5 years with three girls.
However, he still goes on match. com this is how we met. Is this guy bad news or should I just relax and be fine with the fact that he still logs on to match. com at this point? This is thanks, in part, to your excellent comments and questions from the audience.
As such, some of the comments which I have preserved bring up points that I have since addressed in this revision. Right off the top, you mentioned that you and he have agreed to be exclusive. How clear was his side of the agreement to being committed? But then I saw you kept logging in…. Life is complicated and the heart wants what the heart wants.
If this is a misunderstanding, explain it to me. You rarely see me do that. However, in this case, I feel that the conversation points I laid out above do more to instruct than even my explaining of my viewpoint would have…. So in this first section, I wanted to walk through getting clear on how committed he really is in the first place.
Everyone wins. When both people really want a great relationship, the relationship feels effortless. People are so quick to snap up something half-hearted and then try to make that half-hearted relationship into something more.
Only you can decide if what you learn convinces you to keep participating in the relationship or not. You will never, ever know what the other person is doing at all times. In this case, you know he goes on match.
com because you can see it. But since the beginning of time, men and women have had to learn to trust one another in their relationship. I can tell you from personal experience that this was a skill I needed to learn.
In my past, there have been times when even though the relationship was good, my insecurity would eat away at me. A problem with suspicion and snooping is: the more you fear and suspect, the more that fear and suspicion eats away at you and creates more fears and suspicions! This creates a vicious cycle that destroys trust in the relationship and ultimately causes a problem where there was none. At this moment, you are reading into the situation negatively, assuming that he has bad motives or could be playing you.
It might, it might not. We have great instincts for this sort of thing. However, there are times where we ourselves are paranoid… perhaps because of negative beliefs we have or prior bad experiences. I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode.
I love writing articles to help people free themselves from suffering and have clarity in their love life. I have a degree in Psychology and I've dedicated the last 20 years of my life to learning everything I can about human psychology and sharing what gets people out of struggling with life and into having the life they really want.
If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter. Similar story, Daring a guy that I was serving hand and knees, he said we were boyfriend and girl friend.
After he said this and we finally had intercourse after two months he went a bot cold and stayed cold as I continued to do all these things for him. I got a bad feeling so I spied on his daring account made up a fake person I knew was his type and waited. A week later I went to check and yes he was coming on to this fake person with one message after the next.
I went to his home and asked him if he was on the daing site, he said NO! I had already at the beginning of our relationship told him that being on there while he is with me is unacceptable and he agreed to close his account.
He cost me so much! Did he ever respect me? And how could someone care but play you for a month like this?
Went through something similar. Met someone on Match. com, we seemed to have instant chemistry, there was future talk, like adventures we were going to have, things we were going to do, trips we were going to take, repairs he was going to help me with in my home.
We slept together, third time together, it just happened quickly, I was not expecting it and I assumed it meant he was my boyfriend. This guy seemed like a good guy and genuine, hard worker, dad type. Well I checked match a couple of weeks later and noticed the little green circle that he had been on recently, I brought it up via text to him, he said he was only interested in seeing me, he wasnt looking for anyone else.
I left it alone. I hid my profile and would check his and he didnt go on for about three weeks at all, this was during the height of COVID19 quarantine. Two months in I checked again and found he had logged into match and also I found a zoosk account. What made me check was his hot and cold attitude toward me, his failure to deliver on any of the talk of things we were going to do, even stuff we could have done during quarantine, like the promised drive even to the beach or park.
He stated he must have logged in by accident, after a fight and not speaking to him for a week we got back together with more promises from him. He was going to delete both his accounts but they reactivated before he could, or so he said.
His promises never panned out, It turned out I was driving back and forth to his home and we would have takeout, and be intimate. This dwindled from twice a week to once a week. His texts dwindled. He said he was really busy at work. I checked his accounts after about another month and a half, he was recently active on both zoosk and match, I sent him a like from an old account I had on match just as a test, he answered back, this account didnt even have a photo!
So I ended it with him, he told me it wasnt healthy for us to see each other anyway, because he didnt want the commitment I did and wasnt falling in love with me. So this is just some advice, listen to your vibes, your gut feelings, dont make excuses in your head for anyone, dont try to just see the good, be realistic, it hurts to face the truth, especially when you are lonely, but ladies dont waste your time.
These men are on a constant quest for something better, alot of them have been hurt by their exes and they cant commit, dont want to commit, have unrealistic expectations, and perhaps want to inflect some pain on others because they are damaged. It shouldnt be this difficult.
Then I went back in and created new profiles with a burner email and phone number. Even though I cancelled and deleted my profile on each site, they all still showed me as active.
Keep in mind I was signing in from a totally different ip address with a totally different cell phone number and email address. He asked to be exclusive after 2 weeks and I said yes.
when told me he was on Match I told him he should get out of there. I confronted him by text and after 16 hours he send me this text.
I really like him and I want to make it work. Should I forgive based on his explaining? I have not once replied to any woman nor searched since we have been talking. If you dont believe me log into my acct and check for yourself. My password is xxxxxxx. I believe we have a strong relationship and have built trust with each another. So please feel free to go into my acct and do as you please.
Is this a valid answer? I have noticed that if you get email notifications from Match just opening one of the emails logs you in and shows you have been online. The email can be anything from here are your daily matches to a message from someone, and just touching or clicking the email causes it to open so be wary of jumping to conclusions.
I recently met someone on Match… We saw each othe twice and are planning to see each other again.. I then went on to say.. Hey there — I looked back at this article, which I wrote awhile ago, and I agree it missed some key points. What I wrote needed context and was missing the first section which really, really needed to be there.
So I agree with you guys, this needed improvement and I got around to it. As with everything, I write my opinions with the hope that it will help the readers be more effective in their love life… and when I feel something can be made better, I do it!
If they address it and say ok we are exclusive then you both let it go and never log in to check on them without reason…. We met online and things are moving In a more serious direction.
He told me about 2 months in that he deleted his account. I logged on and saw that he was active. I think this is a breach of trust and I want to confront him gently. Ive been thru this anf r currently going thru this. My initial reacton was hurt and i approached him so wrong. I dont think he has physically cheated me hut the fact that he does continue to be active on these websites for whatever reason has real taken a toll on me emotionally and ofcourse the trust that have for him.
All this crap about it being ok anf find ouy first is straight crap. For me in aby relationship. I would hope and wish there would be a certain level of respect. And its all bad now.
Unfortunately I think in this case Eric is giving women advise on how to give men exactly what they want, without the woman receiving what she wants.
· He might still be treating your relationship as a casual thing and assuming that you are too. If you want something more, you need to tell him how you feel. Even if he’s not on the · Scenario #1 You’ve been on multiple dates and it’s obvious you both like each other, but you’re not exclusive just yet. As you’re deleting old messages, you see she’s changed her · If a man is still browsing a dating site, he’s keeping his options open. Plain and simple. Don’t let yourself be duped. Reply July 10, , am. hannah. Totally agree with · 15 Reasons why he is still online dating if he likes you. 1. Ego boost: 2. You are not right for him: 3. He is not ready for anything serious: 4. He can’t settle for one woman: 5. · However, after spending more and more time together, you find out the guy is still online dating while in a relationship with you. While you never discussed exclusivity, wouldn’t If you two have actually discussed and agreed to exclusive dating, him keeping his online dating profile up is a bad sign. Most apps will tell you how recently someone’s profile has been active. ... read more
However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Hey there — I looked back at this article, which I wrote awhile ago, and I agree it missed some key points. I get why you just wanted to understand. What is the intention behind those mere conversations? But what about me?If your man has many dating apps on his phone, it means that he does not take you seriously, and he is looking to cheat on you. After he said this and we finally had intercourse after two months he went a bot cold and stayed cold dating a guy and he is still online I continued to do all these things for him. So, choose your words carefully. He told me about 2 months in that he deleted his account. Call us at Then when you decide to narrow the field and focus on one guy who seems worthy, you can bring up exclusivity. I think you are the opposite of me although we share sth in common, I am also an observant girl when I am dating online, which is what I am doing now.